On the way to work . . . .

One might see the strangest things. I was driving up to my main road where my workplace is and I noticed something on the side of the median.

A sandwich.

A completed and undisturbed sandwich. Two slices of white bread laying on top of each other, unravaged by birds. I couldn't help but laugh; simply over the fact that it's there.

did a road worker loose it from his brown bag?

did he set it down when he really didn't want it?

Did some kid throw it out of his school bus window when he realized it wasn't a PB & J?

was it left by some kind stranger FOR the birds?

was it left for aliens?

the possiblities are endless . . . .

Lava Lamp Art 5

Volcanic Eruption

The Zombie Plunge

The only reason I gave it that title is, take a look at the guy on the far left . . . . . doesn't he look dead?

I almost got it . . .

But why is he in a Darth Vader costume?

Illustration Friday : Mulitple

It's fun to experiment with random images downloaded off the Internet. Photoshop is a fun tool.

It's Trivia Thursday

And I couldn't be happier. I grow to love these Thursday, not only for the thrill of the game but the social aspect. I enjoy hanging out with my friends and my family, now that my mother has joined us. It's getting more and more fun all the time.

Oh, yeah. This picture is probably the most evil parasite I've ever taken. I wish I could liberate him but he's in one of those claw machines that is purposely rigged to fail. That's a shame. He looks awesome. It's why I took his picture.

Do I have to?

I'm sitting here. It's 6:06 AM, drinnking my coffee frap and wondering, "Do I really have to go into work?"

Answer = yes.

I get a week's long vacation in two weeks. I can make it. I can hold out. I've just gotten up and I'm already tired. It's called being burned out. But I'll make it. I'm an optimist during these sort of trying times.

Hopefully I'll get more writing done. LOST Site B is coming along nicely and I've been enjoying the ride. I'll never get famous for this work but It's helping me hone my craft and I'm doing the one thing every single wannabe writer should be doing: WRITE EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Damn it. I guess I should download Picasa. I miss my Hello program; it was must easier. Hey, Canada Girl. How do you post images on your blog?

LOST Spam Banners

They make no sense, that's why they are so funny. I had a laugh riot making them.

Yep . . . .

What do you think?


Special thanks to whoever made this original picture. I just added the words to reflect what is clearly happening with her.

Groan . . . .is it only Saturday Morning?

And there's still time for Napoleon to conquer Mars. >:)

Must have slept wrong. I woke up with a mild headache. Just have to sit up for a bit and let the blood flow down from my head, which really isn't that hard to do these days. I thought about posting up a drawing for Illustration Friday but the word of the week is "theory.". Not sure what to make from that. Chaos Theory? The Theory of Evolution? I'll brainstorm but if I don't come up with anything, . . .well, screw it.

Rest in peace, Steve Gerber. Not many people would know him but I know him because he was a comic book artist/writer who created Howard the Duck. I loved the comic books growing up, then migrated to the magazaines. However, mom took the magazines away from me when I was a kid. They had nudity in them. Hell, I was just 9. I didn't know any better. :) And I bought them at a grocery store. That's the 80's for ya.

I think I'll surf the blogs now. I'll leave some comments on the blogs I find, because everybody deserves comments.

See ya later

The Devil Came Down to Georgia

I took a picture of this guys licences plate this morning on my way to work. Judging from his plate, he's one brazen person. I could use a dirty word but I'm trying to keep this blog pg-13.

Also, he had one of those Jesus fish symbols on his back trunk as well but inside it actually said, "Sushi."

Hmmmm . . .

*Sniff*

Good bye, Kenny.

Let's talk about LOST, shall we? :)

Spoilers ahead, for those who don't want to know . . .

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Interesting episode of LOST, eh? A few other questions answered and a few more created.

Locke is doing his best to protect the people and probably the Island in the process. So the cabin isn’t real? Or maybe it can only be found at night? Or maybe the Cabin shows up when Jacob is ready to talk. Like perhaps he was ready to talk to Hugo?

I’m getting Miles pegged more and more. I’m starting to profile him on my own, actually. He’s a bully. That’s why he’s loud and obnoxious. He has to yell and insult people in order for him to be “heard”. I have a feeling he’s not going to make it off the Island. Someone might just kill him.

Kate seems to have her own agenda. She wants off the Island badly. Truth be told, Sawyer had a point; there isn’t a real reason she wants off. Maybe it’s her personality. She’s the bird that needs to be free and the Island is a prison. It could be as simple as that. What sucks is that it’s clear that Jack loves her; it’s NOT so clear that she loves him. Maybe she does but she’s not easily admitting it. Maybe she’s afraid too.

The flash forward with Sayid was interesting. I felt sorry for him as well. He’s working for Ben to eliminate the Shadow Organization that wants the Island and its inhabitants. He’s doing it because he doesn’t want them to find the Island. You could see the sadness in his eyes. He’s working for Ben; as in, he’s working for the Devil. He’s sold his soul to protect his friends.

It was cool to get proof about the “unique” properties of the Island, thanks to Dan’s little experiment. The Island is surrounded by a bubble; a pocket of Time and probably Space too. It's known as the Casamir Effect . The theory that a bubble of electromagnetism can sustain an "artificial" wormhole and judging from what Dan was testing last night the pocket has a delay breech of 30 minutes. That's why Dan told Frank to fly on the precise heading they came in on that's why Micheal was told to follow the course of 325 for the boat ride out.

Odds are good Micheal and Walt are on that boat. I’ll be impressed if we see Sayid and Desmond land on the boat to show us who is on it and get some further clues. But somehow, I don’t think it’s going to be that easy.

I'm still Punchy

One of the side effects of being burned out is getting punchy. Everything you might find funny, you do and somethings you really shouldn't. Like this customer's name.

Fred Below.

I don't know why but it struck me as funny. I laughed quietly for about five minutes.

Lava Lamp Art 4

The Screamer

Illustration Friday : Choose

Who gets the Brain and who gets the Turkey?

What the Hell is a Twitter?

I had to look it up on Wikipedia. Apparently Twitting is "micro-blogging." It's for people who only have a few sentences to say instead of entire paragraphs.

Sorry, kids. Not my style. :)

This morning I had a surreal experience. I was listening to Styx "Come Sail Away" this morning. Then I could easily see a flock of ravens flying overhead. What made it a surreal experience was the powerful music playing and for about two minutes these ravens were flying along the same route as the road. Awesome stuff.

I didn't get a chance to report on it yesterday but someone laid a shit-bomb in the men's room. You know it's bad when Morgan Freeman runs out of the bathroom screaming, "California! Do not approach! John Doe has the upper hand!" Well, I had to go so I walked in and was blanketed in Sarine Gas for a minute or two. I did my business, washed my hands and got out a quick as I could to alert the Hazmat team and get the women and children to safety.

Trivia Question Of the Day

I guess it might as well be "questions". Plural. I'm sorry I'm so behind but this should help catch us up.

1. What is removed when a Surgeon performs a cholecystectomy?

2. How many Flowers are in the design stamped on every oreo cookie?

3. What was the name of Morticia's carnivorous Africian Strangler Plant on the TV Sitcom The Addams Family?

4.What TV sitcom star did a cartwheel when he headed down the aisle to recieve an Emmy?

the answers are in the comments.

To Serve Man . . . .at the Pump N Stop

The town of Stormville had seen better days. It wasn’t much of a town; it has six banks, eight Waffle Houses and at least 14 gas stations. Most of the people who lived here at been living here all there lives. Robots and other Townies came in to settle but it was really because of the ESP War waging in New Bernard at the coast. Stormville as a result became more than just a down home country alien resort; it became a haven for supernatural and otherworldly refugees.

Benny and Kito were driving to the local Pump N Stop. Benny was tired, more so than normal. Kito had already fallen asleep while Peeps sat between them. The bug-eyed Traigaphon was enjoying the latest issue of Vogue. How or why Traigaphons were so interested in fashion was beyond Benny. While he and Kito worked, Peeps lived in their car. For all extensive purposes, it was his home. His bed was the back seat, his clothes were in the truck and his entertainment was all in his head. Some old Mercurian was giving away Traigaphons at the local grocery store and Benny just had to one have. He named him Peeps because of his huge eyes.

Benny drove the brown Sedan into the Pump N Stop. Most of the other patrons were either getting gassed up or buying Beer for the upcoming Manic Monday celebration. Benny’s brown Sedan used to be red a few years ago, until he was one of the few to survive the Great Storm led by Big Joe and Flawless Invention. Now his red Sedan was a brown Sedan. It reminded him of that great and horrific event; it kept him sane. “Let’s go, Peeps.” Benny picked him up.

Kito got out of the driver’s side and attempted to lock the door. He grunted when he remembered the lock was broken but he kept trying to lock it anyway. The weary ninja was nothing if not a creature of habit. He straightened his katana and proceeded to follow Benny into the gas station. One of the patrons came out and looked at them. It was Old Mama Hess, and she immediately started to wave her cane at them. “Robot lovers!” she squealed, “ESP faggots!”

“Oh, would you give it a rest, Mama Hess?” Benny grunted, walking past her, “I just got off a 13 hour shift. I don’t have time for this shit, please?”

“You press your hands in the oil! You must have tasted it! You are a traitor to you own kind!”

The old woman threatened to hit Kito with her cane but then he immediately grabbed the hilt of his Katana behind his back. “I’m warning you, old woman!” he screamed, “You strike me with that thing and I’ll have your head!”

“Radical Hate! Radical Hate!” she screamed repeatedly.

“Kito, ignore her insane ass.” Benny called back, “Get in here.”

The ninja walked into the gas station as the woman kept walking; screaming her inept poetry of robots and homosexuals. Benny put down Peeps and then he immediately scurried to the bathroom. The weary worker made a mental joke that Peeps probably urinated more than Mama Hess. The worker walked over toward the counter to see the available food. It was a mixture of burritos, stuffed breadsticks, crab rolls, dead greens, and hotdogs. Benny calmly started to fix himself two hotdogs; heavy on the mustard. His philosophy was, if it wasn’t hot, it really wasn’t worth eating. “Hey, Benny.” Someone said in passing.

The worker looked up and recognized one of his other neighbors; Tommy Cameroon. “Hey, Tommy.” Benny said, bagging his hotdogs, “What’s the good word?”

“I’m just glad Manic Monday is coming up.” He sighed as he fixed himself a tall Mellow Yellow from the fountain station, “I need a day off.”

“I heard that. Me and Kito just got off a 13 hour shift.”

“You still working at the Factory?” the man said with a raised eyebrow.

“It pays the most.” The worker said as he started to fix his own fountain drink.

“They still let the Infected work in the weapons lab?” the postman inquired.

“Is that a polite way of asking me if your wife is okay, Tommy?” Benny then stared at him.

“You know what? Forget I asked.” Tommy said, taking his drink and went to go pay for it.

Benny just sighed and shook his head. Tommy’s wife, Lula was part of a group of women known as the Infected. They were the ones among the thousands kidnapped by the Great Invader back in 2000. Exposure to his psychic energy turned their skin a pale yellow and their blood a light green. Doctors had been spouting from magazines for years that the only thing wrong with them was the color change; they were not contagious nor were they going to give birth to the Great Invaders spores. Benny knew one particular Infected and he took pity on her when he saw her every Friday. It make things worse when one of them was getting paid for work but they couldn’t buy any food because no one would go near them.

Talking with Tommy reminded him of her. The worker then walked over to the front door, then picked up a basket. He started to put in breads, fruits and vegetables, then included a tall bottle of Blue Water and even a few candy bars. Kito walked over, after finally getting the Sushi Machine to work. “I swear to Buddha, if he doesn’t fix that thing, I’ll have his head.” The ninja groaned.

“Kito. Calm down. We got four days before we’re back in the shit. Let’s just get our food and relax. Sound like a plan?” Benny asked.

“Yeah. Yeah, let’s chill outside. Maybe the cool air won’t prompt me to take somebody’s head.” He said, picking up a small bottle of Blue Water.

“You and decapitations, man.” The worker chuckled, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you get off on it.”

“I do, so shut up.” The ninja said, walking up toward the counter.

By the time Benny loaded in the last of the special food, Peeps had made his way out of the bathroom. He walked over toward the worker and gently pulled on his leg with a bright smile on his face. “Get done peeing, Peeps?” Benny asked him.

Peeps shook his head in agreement.

“Pee in the sink?” the worker asked.

Peeps shook his head again with a bigger smile.

“That’s my boy.” He patted him on his smooth, bald head, “Iced coffee and a Ho-Ho, right?”

Peeps jumped up and down briefly; clapping his hands for his excitement. Benny walked over and got a large, clear plastic cup for the ice coffee. He walked toward the dispenser and began to fill it up with the iced coffee mix. It wasn’t really coffee; it just had coffee flavor. It didn’t change the fact that it was Peeps’s favorite drink. Benny paused when he heard his little Traigaphon whining. He looked over to where he was pointing. It was the pastry rack and there wasn’t a single Ho-Ho. Benny capped the coffee drink and walked over to where he was in shouting distance of the Martian check out clerk. “Hey, Mobosage!” he called, “Where are the Ho-Ho’s?”

“No Ho-Ho’s.” he replied.

“Why?”

“Embargo.”

“Excuse me?” Benny coughed.

“No Ho-Ho’s. They embargo.” The Martian grunted.

“What?” the work said in disbelief, “Since when the hell do they embargo Ho-Ho’s?”

“Since they look like Saturation Bombs.”

“Are you shitting me?” the worker said in major disbelief.

“No, I not shit you. Now you buy food or you complain?” the Martian grunted.

“Can I do both?” he said, sarcastically before looking at little Peeps, “Well, Peeps . . .no Ho-Ho’s for the foreseeable future. Anything else you want?”

Peeps was depressed. He was looking forward to a Ho-Ho but he knew there wasn’t going to be any. He then pointed up toward the super pack of Peanut Butter Cups. Benny took the candy, put it in his basket and walked up toward the counter. Mobosage started to ring it up and as he did, the worker helped himself to put it in separate bags. After he was done, Benny took out his wad of money and paid for the food. “You factory workers make too much money.” Mobosage hissed.

“Then why don’t you come worth with us, you Martian piece of crap?” Benny shot back.

“I not get ten foot near that oil. Mama Hess is right about you.”

“Stuff it.” The worker grunted as he took the bags and made his way out of the Pump N Stop. Peeps followed behind, sipping his iced coffee the whole way.


Outside, the friends sat in their Sedan while small drops of rain came down on them. Tito was eating his sushi and drinking his Blue Water. Benny was enjoying his hotdogs and his fountain drink, while Peeps sat in the back; nibbling on his peanut butter cup like a squirrel would a nut.

Benny was looking forward to a long sleep. Him and Kito would be off for four days and he fully planned to sleep for at least one of those. He took another sip of his drink, then licked the mustard off his fingers. “It’s Judy.” Kito whispered.

Benny looked at his friend, then toward the rear view mirror. Like always, Judy was walking up in her white robe. The Infected were under orders from the Authority to wear white robes for two reasons. One, to tell them apart and two, no one was allowed to attack an Infected. The white robes made it easy to see if someone tossed garbage at them or threw mad cow blood onto them. Benny reached below and picked up the bag of food. He rolled down the window and then Judy bent low to speak to him. “Hey, Benny.” She smiled.

“How you doing, Judy?” he said, handing her the bag.

“My feet hurt.” She said, stating the obvious.

“I’m sorry,” was all Benny could say.

“You don’t have to be sorry for anything.” She said, handing him the money for the food, “God bless you in taking pity on me and my sister.”

“Judy.” Kito whispered.

“Hey, Kito. You doing okay?” she smiled.

“Could you . . . . uh . . . . .could you give Bethany my best?” the ninja whispered.

Judy then smiled brightly. She paused for a moment to wipe her tear and then shook her head. “I’ll tell her that, Kito. You two take care now.” She said, as she began the long walk back home.

Benny sighed. He should give her a ride home but Judy would insist she didn’t. Along the way to District 14 was an Authority Checkpoint. Benny would be fined 80 thousand dollars for giving her a ride. He didn’t care because he thought it was bad enough that the Infected were shunned; they weren’t allowed to own cars either. Kito took a deep sigh and finished drinking his Blue Water. “Give Bethany your best?” Benny looked at him, “What was that about, Kito?”

The ninja sighed as he put his mask back on. “She was hovering outside the women’s bathroom at work.” He whispered, “They other girls wouldn’t let her use the restroom.”

“Jesus.” The worker exclaimed, “It’s gotten that bad?”

“Yes.” Kito said, leaning his head back, “So, I threatened to kill the lot of them for being so dishonorable. They let her use the bathroom at that point.”

“Wow, that’s . . . . . a noble thing to do, Kito.”

“It was the least I could do for her.” He whispered, “Such a sad . . . .sad existence.”

“Well,” Benny sighed, sipping on his drink one more time, “We got the food to Judy. Let’s go home.”

“Benny.” Kito whispered.

Benny put the car back in park then looked at what his ninja friend was looking at. In the distance toward their right was a new bundle of clouds. The clouds were a bright yellow as if the Good Lord himself took a leak and saturated the lot of them. With seconds, the seeds started to drop from the clouds in abundance. A cool chill went down Benny’s spine as he knew this meant only one thing.

“Lefty Zapata has come back.” He stammered a whisper.

Who is Lefty Zapata?

Booyah

The Viral Continues

Testing, Testing, One, two, three

Vote On Fat Tuesday

Well, it's a done deal. I got some new stitches in me. I'm not feeling the burning yet but it's only been a hour. It takes a little longer for this stuff to wear off. I'm going to go relax in front of a movie and not do anything else. I can't. I can't risk the stitches opening up.

I voted today. Did you?

Sadly, the Combatant I wanted to vote for wasn't in the polls. He didn't win the chance to be the Outworld Canidate.

The Superbowl is Finally Over

I think you say, "lackluster."

It was an all right game. I'm so happy the Patriots lost. The reason for it is because that if they did win a perfect season; we would have never heard the last of it. Congrats to Eli Manning for finally completing a throw. He did it when it really counted.

Belechick has gotten on my last nerves, with that stupid-ass sweatshirt of his. He could buy one with short sleeves but NOOOOOOOOOOO, he's got to cut off the sleeves. It looks like he did it when a survival knife, ala Rambo style. Imagine if you will, Bellechick being sent back to Vietnam to pull out Tom Brady from a POW camp only to be left behind at the verge of pick up. The legacy is over, gentlemen. Like Robert DeNiro said in Copland, "You had your shot and you BLEW ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!"

The commericals were decent. The ones from Career Builder were disgusting. The car commericals were funny. And my favorites were the dancing Sobe Lizards and the Iron Man movie commerical.

Sadly, I'm a little sore from planting my dad's tree yesterday but the good news is, it is indeed planted. My shoes are a wreck from the georgia red-clay but it was all worth it. Hope you like the tree, Daddy. I miss you.

Well, that's all for now. I'm on my way to work. I got tomorrow off to vote but sadly, i'm also getting stitches in my stomach tomorrow to remove a pre-canerous mole. So I'll be at home if you need me.

~Jason

The Leak

Lost in Transistion

The Viral Begins

Mousie and LeeJay

Mousie = "Dude, where the hell you been? Never mind, you brought NOD, right?"

LeeJay = "No! No, I didn't bring it! You know why? Because you said you're not going to need that, DOOD, we'll be back in half an hour!"

Mousie = "Man, I wasn't saying that to you!"

The Bucket

Lava Lamp Art 3

Look, kids! It's a space ship!

Trivia Question Of the Day

How many eggs at a time does a female tsetse fly generally produce?





answer in the comments